Updated: Dec 28, 2021
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We carry this illusion with us, that when we achieve that goal, reach that deadline, handover that thesis, close that customer project, then and only then, our life will feel easier. But - is that what happens? Most certainly not.
The funny thing is that, we already know this. But even though we do, we're experts in accumulating all this tension in our body during all sorts of processes, and only allow ourselves to release the tension, when we've achieved that one thing.
You're allowed to release the tension - now
I'm not here to say that aiming to reach our goals is bad. Not at all. What I want to remind you of, is that you're allowed to release the tension right now. You don't have to wait until that thing happens for you to to be able to breathe, to relax to enjoy. Because the reality is that once this process is over, another one will start. And that's what you need to understand.
I'm going to say that again: once this process is over, another one will start.
Every time we go into something new, problems arise. We bump into obstacles and we start to question our ability to make it to the other side. And that's just the normal flow of new situations, new challenges, new scenarios. That's how it goes.
The nature of processes
And one of the most valuable skills that we can develop, is the ability to embrace the nature of processes, as opposed to resisting them. Because let's be honest - big goals and dreams only materialise themselves if we're able to put ourselves through the process that leads to them. And whether we like it or not, those processes are rocky.
The only way to stop going through rocky processes, is to stop trying things. To stay home forever and never again do or try anything. And not only that's not exciting, but it's also not sustainable.
We only have 2 options
So knowing that rocky processes is something that we have to go through in life, leaves us with only 2 options: to resist them or to embrace them.
Resistance comes with a lot of discomfort, pain and suffering. When we embark on processes with resistance, we constantly want them to be different. We are hooked on the idea of things not being, looking or feeling the way they should. As if there was a specific way that they should be. And we loose sight of the fact that the whole magic of life is hidden in enjoying all processes exactly the way they are.
When we embrace the rocky processes, we know what to expect. We expect ups and downs, successes and failures, joys and disappointments. We expect to do both well and poorly, to get better with time, and to learn some lessons from our mistakes. We look at all of these things as natural factors of any process, so we stop taking things so personally and feeling so overwhelmed about every little thing.
The art of practicing mindfulness
This is when the art of practicing mindfulness in your everyday life is your best ally. Mindfulness allows you to observe everything that's happening both inside and outside of yourself, and accept all those things as they are.
It allows you to separate your identity from the situations that you're in, and to continue in the game of life without letting external circumstances mentally and emotionally exhaust you. It allows you to objectively observe those processes that you're going through, as well as the emotions triggered in you under different scenarios.
Comfortable in the discomfort
And it's this way of looking at all processes in life, which allows us to embark on new challenges and feel comfortable in the discomfort of the new. We expect the unexpected because that's just how things roll, and we know it.
So today, I'm asking you to ask yourself...
What processes are you resisting? Or - What parts of a specific process are you resisting? Could that resistance be robbing you from powerful growth?
Could that resistance be robbing you from the joy of living life in its fullness?
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