MODULE 4 - TRAINING 1
Why you can be whatever you want
My dear human, before we dive into this training, I want to congratulate you. If you're here, that's because you made a decision at the beginning of this program, to work on your inner world, and you've committed and been loyal to that decision.
You've put time aside to dive into these trainings, you've maybe even had to wake up a little earlier in the morning to do your meditation and visualisation, and you've also set time aside during your evenings to journal your heart out and reflect about yourself, your day and your life. But more than that, even though some of these activities may not have been easy for you to do or even understand, you've still shown up and kept going.
YOU'RE A TOTAL BADASS!
For that, I want to both thank you and congratulate you. You've prioritised yourself, your wellbeing and your inner growth, and that's something that very few people are willing to invest in. But you have, which shows how much you're already embracing life in a way that makes sense for you, which is really the most important thing about living life.
You've looked for help, and in this particular case, you accepted mine. You let me into your world, you gave me the opportunity to make a difference in your way of seeing yourself and your life, and I truly hope that you've enjoyed and grown through these 3 past modules of The Serene Unfolding, as much as I've loved creating them for you, as well as talking to you at the beginning and end of each module.
Having said that, let's dive into today's magical training.
THAT OLD CONDITIONING
As you've probably already noticed by now, from a very young age we've been conditioned into habits, patterns and ideas, that are certainly not the only options we have. Ideas like...
''Your wellbeing is not as important as your success''
''Rest is not necessary to succeed''
''If you're not always busy, stressed and anxious, you're doing something wrong and you won't be successful''
''Your achievements define your worth''
''You can't relax and trust yourself unless you achieve something that proves how much you're worth''
''Mistakes are a sign that you're weak''
''Your own validation doesn't matter as much as other people's''
''What someone thinks of you is your reality''
''Your opinion of yourself is not important. What matters is what others think of you''
I'm sure that as you read those examples, you not only felt identified with some (if not all) of them, but also, I'm sure that your body didn't feel good while you read them.
Well - the feelings that you get while dancing with these ideas, are like a small trailer of what life in general feels like when our daily life is ruled by those beliefs.
THIS IS THE MOMENT
So here's that big moment that will either start changing everything for you, or that will change nothing at all. It's the moment in which you, for good, decide what you're willing to believe about yourself, about the things that you go through, and about your life, and never again look back into old ideas that have kept you feeling small, insecure and incapable. And that's exactly why this module is called: Release & Uplevel.
THE END OF THE BEGINNING
What you're about to do is big my love. This module might feel like we're getting to the end of your transformation, but really, this is just the beginning of your new life. This is the line that draws your before and after. This is the moment in which you make a promise to yourself to start living your life on your terms, from a place of endless love toward yourself and others (remember, self-love isn't selfish), and you commit to that promise, day after day, trusting that what today might feel like a simple intention, through discipline and repetition will naturally evolve into who you are.
FROM INTENTION TO BEING
See my love, any big transformation starts with an intention that at the beginning seems like a dream that may never come true. But it's through your commitment to this intention, and you zero-tolerance policy towards not seeing this free person come to life, that this intention will turn into habit, and eventually inevitably become who you are.
THE REAL PROMISE
Now let me be clear on something. The promise that we're making to ourselves in this module, is not to achieve the things that most people believe we need in order to feel the way we want to feel. We're going to bypass all of that. Yup. You heard me right. And let me explain why.
We don't chase things and achievements because of the things and achievements themselves. We chase them, because of the feelings that we believe they will bring to us. What we truly want, is what everyone wants. We want to be happy, we want inner peace, we want to enjoy, we want to feel like we're enough, and we want to feel capable of contributing to the world with our work, effort and energy.
And here's the thing. You can already do all of those things. You can be happy today, you can enjoy today, you are enough today and you can contribute to the world today.
And before you ask me about becoming complacent again, I'll remind you that accepting your current status doesn't mean that you'll stop growing. It means that you'll allow yourself to grow from a place of love, acceptance and enjoyment that tells you ''You may not be the best you'll be in your life yet. And that's okay, because that's what life is for. To evolve continuously. But that doesn't imply that you have to suffer until you've grown. Because growth is always happening, and it's never stopping. So you get to enjoy your journey, starting today.''
So when I tell you that in this module, you're making a promise to yourself to embody a certain person, I'm not talking about you embodying an external achievement. I'm talking about you embodying a feeling that's yours and only yours, regardless of those achievements. But we'll talk more about this in the next training.
IT'S ALL POSSIBLE
When I tell you that you can be whatever you want, I not only mean that you can achieve anything if you put in the work and effort to get there, but also that you can do that while enjoying and feeling that you already are enough, if you state this as a fact in your life. And it's exactly that, what we'll be focusing on.
When I did my transformation from feeling 24/7 stressed, anxious and afraid of not being enough, to feeling serene, complete and confident in my being even before achieving my next big goal (which at that time was graduating from my Masters and getting a job in Denmark), I went through the exact process that I've been taking you on right now.
Of course at that time, there was a lot more trial and error for me. So what I'm doing in this program is condensing the actual things that worked for me, so that you can replicate this process in your own life. And that story leads me to what I'm sharing with you next: the art of commitment and repetition.
THIS WAS CLEAR TO ME
See - when I embarked on my self-discovery journey in the hopes of feeling serene, confident and joyful in my daily life, I knew that that wasn't going to happen if I kept linking my worth to my achievements. I knew that if I kept doing that, I would live a life of permanent attachment to the next great achievement. I knew that I would continue to live under the illusion that I only deserved happiness and enjoyment when I did something that proved something to others, and through their validation I would allow myself to feel free.
In my eyes, it was clear that that type of life was a life of disguised slavery, where you pretend that you're free because you're like everyone else but really you don't feel like that. At that time, I made a choice to not give a fuck about how others decided to live their lives, and I chose to live my life in my own damn way, and to allow myself happiness even if I hadn't achieved a badge of honour that day. I also made the choice to allow myself the inner peace that comes from allowing yourself to feel sadness, anger or whichever uncomfortable feeling, for as long as I needed in order to process my emotions.
But of course, having lived 27 years of my life believing that my worth and freedom to enjoy and relax depended on my achievements, there was a lot of resistance in me. I kept asking myself... ''but what if I relax and enjoy, and that ends up fucking up my success?''
So what I did was, instead of either believing or trying to fight that voice in me, I recognised that this voice came from my old self. A self who didn't know any better than that. A self that was scared of dying. When I allowed myself to recognise this part of me and to see it with kindness and love as an important part of me who took me to where I was in that moment, I then also allowed myself to kindly say goodbye to that part of me.
And see my love, saying goodbye to a part of you is like ending a very long and important relationship. There's resistance, there's fear and there's grieve. But when it's not the right relationship for you anymore, you know in your heart that saying goodbye is the right thing to do.
And making the decision to end this relationship with an old part of you, is not as easy as saying goodbye, and that part of you not showing up anymore. Because even when you end a relationship with someone else, that other person continues to show up in your thoughts and in your emotional body. It takes days, weeks, months, and sometimes even years to accept that that relationship is gone.
READIER THAN YOU THINK
But hey, don't panic! Because what's going to make faster this transition of living in full attachment to that fearful part of you, to letting it go, is your clarity and commitment to this decision.
Through the previous 3 modules, you've gotten a type of understanding that will automatically help you stay strong in your commitment to unfold into your serene self. These past modules are like that closure and understanding at the end of a relationship that finally helps us move on with our lives and start a new chapter maybe with someone else. These past modules and all the work and reflection that you've done, have allowed your unfolding to already start happening and to quickly accelerate itself, as long as you keep your intention and promise alive.
Having said that, in the next training of this module I'm sharing with you a tool that's going to become your best friend from today on. And that is: the power of affirmation. I'll see you there!