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I remember back in the day, when I was at uni in Venezuela, jumping in my car after a tough day, and getting this urge to cry, HARD.
At the beginning, I would resist it. Like that made me weak. Like I was being too sensitive and I should put myself together. What if someone saw me?
The saddest song
But as soon as I got out of that parking lot and that car started moving, I'd play the saddest most heart-breaking Adele or Ed Sheeran song, and let it ALL out.
I remember feeling so freaking good while crying, and wondering if I was a complete psyco. Aren't we supposed to avoid crying because it makes us feel worst? Why does crying actually make me feel good then? I remember thinking all of this, but not really caring.
I felt good crying, so I just kept doing it.
Was that enough?
And then, I remember arriving home, and having to put myself together to say hi to whoever was home, but truly just wanting to do that as fast as possible to go lock myself in my room and start crying again.
But I also remember, that sometimes I didn't even need to cry again. It's almost like crying really hard for 30min in my car while driving, was really all I needed to process my feelings and to move on with my life.
Of course, depending on what was it that was causing me pain, one or 10 cries would be enough. But the point remains the same. There's magic and so much healing in crying.
Shedding with love and kindness
This thing that we've been taught makes us weak, sometimes is the only thing that we need to come back to the world stronger than ever. It's like shedding with acceptance, love, kindness and compassion, the layers of story that are making you hurt.
I consciously said hello to the healing powers of crying not long ago. Probably in 2017, when I started getting into self-care and mindfulness. That's when I realised that observing my feelings and allowing them to go through me, is not a sin. It's actually what the mind, body and soul needs.
I'm still a crying baby
I'm 30 years old as I write this, and I'm still the biggest crying baby there is. I don't judge myself for crying anymore and I don't see myself as weak when I do so. In fact, I feel pretty smart when I cry. I get this feeling that I'm doing what I have to do. Sort of what you feel when you're being responsible and doing your homework. Well, that's how I feel when I cry.
Why would you think you're weak when you're doing something that the human body was designed to do? We don't have to force ourselves out of crying. What we need to do, is allow our emotions to flow, sometimes in the way of crying, to understand what's going on. We need to learn to observe ourselves in the crying process, and notice all the thoughts that arise in that moment.
This is what I call crying mindfully. Allowing yourself to cry, while observing all of the beliefs behind the tears. Because when you allow yourself to go through this process, and you start to question without judgement if those beliefs are true, you'll slowly start to notice that the answer is no.
And then you'll end up laughing about your big cry. You'll end up understanding that the reason why you were feeling so terrible, is because of everything you were believing about yourself. But you could only notice that, when letting those thoughts come up so strongly and harsh at you, that they made you cry.
And it's through this intense healing crying moment, that you shed those nasty beliefs, and stand back up again like a freaking warrior.
So there you have it. The power of crying like there's no tomorrow.