Updated: Mar 19
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If I had to choose a quote to live by, I think that I'd choose ''comparison if the thief of joy''. Damn, what a great reminder to have everyday. We should all have that phrase written on the mirror that we look into every morning.
We have a tendency to continuously look on the sides to check-up on what other people are doing. And now-a-days, social media makes it extremely easy to never be at ease with where we are at in our journey.
I don't want to go deep into the social-media thing, because that's a whole other topic for another day. But what I do want to dive into, is the constant pressure that we feel to be somewhere else.
It's never enough
It seems like wherever we're at, that's never enough for us. Because when we look around, we always seem to find greener grass. And it's such a shame that we're not trained well enough to shift our focus toward everything that is bright and magical in our own lives, as opposed to focusing on everything that we're lacking, based on all the things that we believe that we could or should have.
See, I don't think that ambition is the problem, or that it's wrong to want to aim higher. What I do believe is a huge problem, is that we don't know how to take pauses of presence, to discharge our shoulders from the expectations of the future.
Don't even think of pausing
We don't know how to pause, because we haven't been taught how to pause. And when we hear other people asking us to take pauses, we ignore their advice, because we don't believe that we deserve to pause. We feel this urge to keep going, to keep running, to keep studying, to keep working, to keep making money, to keep going out with friends, to keep doing all of these stuff to not miss out on the opportunity of creating something that's better than what we have.
We carry this belief that if we pause, we'll be left with nothing, because we'll only have what we have now. And we believe, that we have now, is not enough. Our perfect ability to breathe, to stretch, to have a slow morning coffee, to read 5 pages of a mindfulness book, to cry a little in our pillow, to listen to a slow song while smelling a vanilla candle for 5 minutes, to prepare a nice meal for ourselves, to hug our loved ones, to do all of these simples things that hold the deepest of joys in them, is not enough.
The worthlessness disease
We believe that we need to keep going and rushing, so that one day, we can drink a nice cocktail in the Bahamas rather than in our own place. Because we think that, that will make it so much better. We need to keep rushing and going so that one day, we can go on a trip with our 3 best friends to the coast of Italy, instead of having to invite them over to our own place, like that's such a bad thing. We glorify all of these things that we see other people doing, as we diminish to the minimum, the value of the things that we get to do today, as if they were worthless.
Well, let me tell you something. That pressure that you're feeling to keep up with the world's hopes and dreams, doesn't belong to you. You deserve to take your time and enjoy the journey toward your own dreams. You deserve to celebrate every little moment as if it was the greatest achievement of all times, because I'm sure that what you have today, was at one point in your journey, something that you dreamed of having.
Your worth has nothing to do with other people
So I'm asking you today, to please pause and enjoy that thing, that you once wanted to have, and now you do have. Stop listening to the outside world and letting it rule how you feel about where you're at in your journey. Stop letting random people rule how you see yourself, your dreams and achievements. Stop letting them decide how much you're worth, because your value as a person, has nothing to do with other people, what they're doing and what they think about you. Those people are feeling the same pressure that you're feeling, and they're infecting you with what they feel.
So please, stop. Pause. Breathe. Enjoy. Celebrate today. Celebrate where you're at. Celebrate all the steps that you've taken. The big steps and the little ones. Specially the little ones, because those build the strong foundation of the path that's leading you somewhere. Somewhere that you'll eventually get to see. Somewhere in the future that one day, will no longer be in the future, but in your present.
Today is all we've got
But today my love, we are here. And today, is everything that we'll ever have. So hug it. Embrace it. Embrace your sadness, your fear, your joy, your ups and downs. Enjoy what you actually get to do. Invite those friends over, or give them a video call. Or if that's not your kind of thing, then do what your thing is. Make yourself that yummy porridge and enjoy it like you're eating it from the most beautiful balcony in Positano. Trust me, I've been to Positano, and my life wasn't necessarily better when I was there.
This is where you're supposed to be
The way you feel, no matter where you go or how much you money you have, depends on your ability to see the magic all around you, and to create joy in your life from whatever it is that you have. So today, bring that joy my love. Let go of all that outside pressure that you've been holding on to, and that's been making you feel like where you're at right now, is not where you're supposed to be.
This is where you're supposed to be. Open up to the beauty in this moment, and you'll see how slowly but steadily, you'll be able to bring that dream future into the present moment.
You're beautiful today my love. You're courageous, you're bold, and you've got what it takes. Feel no pressure to be somewhere else today. You are where you're supposed to be, and tomorrow, you'll also manage to be, where you're supposed to be.