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Your experiences don't define you

Writer: Mary MayorcaMary Mayorca

Updated: Mar 9, 2024

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Don’t do the things you do because you believe those things define you. If you do this, you'll always act from a place of lack. Remember that whatever you achieve, does not define you. Whatever you do, adds to the person that you already are.



You're bigger than any experience that you're going through. You're even bigger than the sum of all the experiences you've been through. You're the awareness containing all those experiences. You are this, I promise, but you'll only believe it, if you're willing to see it.


It's all brain generated

There's a very big difference between all the problems you think you have, and the ones that you do have. If you look closely at this moment, if you close your eyes and pay attention to what's happening in your life exactly in this moment, you'll realise that those problems don't exist. If you can still see them, realise where they come from. They come from your mind. They're thoughts. They're brain generated.


Mark Twain once said...


‘‘I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened’’.


We need to acknowledge this

The world is so afraid. I'll never get tired of saying this. The world is so afraid of being wrong, of making mistakes, of not doing it the right way, of disappointing others, of what other people will think. The world's so afraid of admitting that it's afraid


You can’t get rid of your fears if you're not willing to acknowledge their existence. Acknowledging the existence of your fears does not mean giving into them. It doesn't mean surrendering to failure. It actually takes you a step closer to freeing yourself from them.


Feel the fear and keep going

You get to see fear as an outsider, and decide to move forward despite of its presence. You can take the action your heart wants you to take, with the fear being there. And little by little, you'll notice how although fear is still there, it’s just like a little boy standing in the corner, with no power over you.


Ask Ask Ask

Ask yourself why. Why do you do the things you do? What's your intention? Does a goal come to mind? If it does, why do you have that goal? What's the intention behind that goal? Is it to please someone else? Is it to prove something to the people around you? Is it to prove something to yourself?


How do you feel when you do what you do? Do you feel overwhelmed? What thoughts does your mind throw at you the most while you are doing what you do? Are your thoughts related to the past, or do they constantly travel to the future?


Are you scared that what you're doing will not produce the outcome that you expect? What do you expect? Why do you expect that? What's the meaning attached to that expectation? What will happen if you don’t meet those standards? What does it mean to you? Does it mean that you are not smart enough? Does it mean that you are not brave enough?


You're more than what you go through

What you achieve with each experience, does not define you. Remember that. If it did, you wouldn’t be scared now. But not because of this experience, but because of the past experiences that you thought defined you. You have done well already. You have already met your standards before. Still you don’t think that that's enough. Why? Because that didn’t define you forever, and nor will this.


If you meet your current expectations, this experience will add to yourself. If you don’t meet them, this experience will add to yourself. What exactly will it add? It will add knowledge, it will add tools, it will add what it is, experience. But more importantly, it can add wisdom, once again, only if you are willing to see it.


You're not more or less valuable

What it will not add, is value to who you are. You may feel like it does. You may feel that achieving this thing will make you more valuable. That it will make you more expensive in the market. More competitive. This is true if you look at yourself like a thing, waiting for others to define your worth. I think this is sad. You are more than a thing.


Don’t miss out on life focusing on a moment that will never arrive. Because if you do, you'll also miss out on that future that you spend so much time thinking about. Practice being here, so you can be there tomorrow.


Here it is, simple and real...

The only moment there is, is this one. Don’t you see it? Out of your mind, nothing exists other than now. Close your eyes, feel your breath, hear the sounds around you. Hear the sound of silence if there's no noise. Can you still hear the noise? Where does it come from? Is it real? Or is it in your head? Is it both? Focus on what’s real, on what’s outside of your imagination. What can you do about it?


Live slowly. Figure out what the next right step is, as Oprah said. And then, figure out what the next right step is, and then the next one. Stay here. You can only do one thing at a time.


One step at a time

Stop draining yourself worrying about problems that you don’t have in this moment. What have you got now? What can you do now? Is it nothing? Perfect, do nothing. Move to the next thing. Is there something you can do? Perfect, do that. Does it work? No? Perfect, try something new, anything. Did the new thing work? Yes? Great. Breathe it, breathe out, say thank you. Appreciate this moment. Now, move on the next present. Stay here.


Remember, one thing at a time. Life's that simple, if you're willing to see it.


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