Getting Over The Sadness of Not Being Good Enough

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Even though there will always be some people in your life who tell you that you're good enough, there will inevitably also be people who, in different moments and for different things, don't think you are. And what's most painful to face, is when someone who loves you or who you love, doesn't think that you're good enough.




Having your family, your partner or your best friends doubt your abilities to succeed in certain areas, is much more painful and hard to swallow, than having strangers or random people in your life think you're not good enough. And that's why it's so important that we cultivate the ability to believe in ourselves and to remember that we are indeed enough, even when we're not good enough for the people with whom we have any sort of emotional connection.


The most painful not-enough feeling

And on that note, I'm going to dive right into the most painful level of feeling that we're not good enough. This is the feeling of not being good enough that arises, when someone who used to make us feel that we were good enough, stops believing that we are.


Often in life, when someone sees potential in us, and shares that loving and uplifting perspective with us, we start seeing ourselves through their eyes. This is what happens when we fall in love. All of a sudden, it seems that someone sees and celebrates exactly those parts of us that are dying to be celebrated.


Someone comes in and lovingly fills that void that we didn't know how to fill by ourselves. Someone describes us in the exact way in which we always wanted to be described, but didn't dare to do. And so, not only we believe them, but we start believing about ourselves beautiful things that we maybe didn't dare to believe before. We fall in love with someone falling in love with us. We fall in love with ourselves, through the person who just fell in love with us.


But then, one day, something inside that other person happens, and you stop being good enough for them. And with that, comes a great deal of pain. Because with their lost of interest in you, also comes the illusion that if you're not good enough for them, then you're not good enough at all. And the more your self-worth is attached to this other person's version of you, the more you feel like you're not good enough.


There's nothing wrong with you

But the reality is, that someone else feeling interested or uninterested by you, has little to do with you. Another person believing that you are or aren't good enough for them, has little to do with you being good enough in general. When someone else is drawn to you and thinks that you're good enough for them, that mainly shows you what that other person is missing in their own life, which they're either consciously or consciously full-filling through you.


And see my love, there's nothing wrong with you just because someone doesn't think that you're good enough for them, even if this used to be a person who at one point did. The reality is that what's painful about these situations, is that we blame ourselves for what other feel about us, and we fall into a loop where all of our energy goes into trying to become good enough for others, and trying to convince them about it.


Be a fit for yourself

But that only leaves us feeling tired, disappointed and frustrated, because no matter what we do and how much we try, it feels like we're just throwing water onto a wall. The wall gets wet, then it dries, and that's pretty much it. Nothing happens. Nothing changes in the other person. The only thing that changes, is your own perspective of yourself. Because the more you try to fit in with people that have little to no interest in seeing you fit in with them, the more your self-image and self-worth degrade themselves.


The message that's coming through today, is that you don't need to be good enough for others. You need to be good enough for yourself. And the reason why it's so painful that you're not good enough for specific people, is that you've consciously or unconsciously trained yourself to believe, that their opinion is more important and truer, than your own. You believe that if you convince them that you're good enough, then you'll indeed be good enough. But that's just one more illusion of the ego.


We see what we want to see

Because as you'll hear my soul tell you many times: what others think of you, has nothing to do with you. Not even when ''others'' are the people that love or loved you the most, or the people that you love or loved the most. What others think of you has nothing to do with you, even when what they think of you is uplifting and encouraging. Because even when someone falls in love with you, they're not really seeing you. They're seeing the parts of you that they want to see, in the same way in which when you fall in love, you see the parts of them that you want to see. And sometimes, what you fall in love with, is the part of them that fell in love with you.


See my love, my soul says that this theory goes for anything and anyone in life. It goes for the job hunter that fell in love with you and then the boss that was disappointed after that presentation you made. It goes for your parents when they believed in you, and then, when they didn't believe in you so much anymore. It goes for that person that came into your life when you were at your best, and left, when you were at your lowest.


Us humans, see in each other, what we want to see in each other. And it's only when we elevate our way of loving to the way of loving of the soul, that we start loving despite of what the human in us sees. That's when we start being capable of loving the people around us, even when we've stopped being good enough for them. We can fearlessly love them, even when our ego is hurt by their opinion of us, because we can finally clearly see, that their opinion of us, and us not being good enough for them, is just a reflection of their own belief system, not a reflection of us.


You are good enough

So with these words, I encourage you to take a deep breath with me right now, and remind yourself, that your energy is precious, and that is shouldn't be going into trying to be good enough for anyone else but yourself. And take these words as a reminder that the sadness that you feel, when not being good enough for someone else, whether that's a person, a job, an opportunity, or whatever, comes from the belief that if you're not good enough for that specific thing or person, then you're not good enough as a person, in general.


And that, my love, is not true. Because being good enough is a relative term created by the ego, in order to evaluate life in its binary system of good and bad. At the higher level of the soul and the energy in nature, not being good enough is impossible. God makes no mistakes. Nature makes no mistakes. You are perfect as you are, in every stage of your endless growth. And you are indeed enough, even if that doesn't match someone else's ideal of enough. You are enough my love. You are enough.


Love,

Mary.


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