Getting Over The Sadness of Not Being Good Enough
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Even though there will always be some people in your life who tell you that you're good enough, there will inevitably also be people who, in different moments and for different things, don't think you are. And what's most painful to face, is when someone who loves you or who you love, doesn't think that you're good enough.
Having your family, your partner or your best friends doubt your abilities to succeed in certain areas, is much more painful and hard to swallow, than having strangers or random people in your life think you're not good enough. And that's why it's so important that we cultivate the ability to believe in ourselves and to remember that we are indeed enough, even when we're not good enough for the people with whom we have any sort of emotional connection.
The most painful not-enough feeling
And on that note, I'm going to dive right into the most painful level of feeling that we're not good enough. This is the feeling of not being good enough that arises, when someone who used to make us feel that we were good enough, stops believing that we are.
Often in life, when someone sees potential in us, and shares that loving and uplifting perspective with us, we start seeing ourselves through their eyes. This is what happens when we fall in love. All of a sudden, it seems that someone sees and celebrates exactly those parts of us that are dying to be celebrated.
Someone comes in and lovingly fills that void that we didn't know how to fill by ourselves. Someone describes us in the exact way in which we always wanted to be described, but didn't dare to do. And so, not only we believe them, but we start believing about ourselves beautiful things that we maybe didn't dare to believe before. We fall in love with someone falling in love with us. We fall in love with ourselves, through the person who just fell in love with us.
But then, one day, something inside that other person happens, and you stop being good enough for them. And with that, comes a great deal of pain. Because with their lost of interest in you, also comes the illusion that if you're not good enough for them, then you're not good enough at all. And the more your self-worth is attached to this other person's version of you, the more you feel like you're not good enough.<