Updated: Jan 3
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Before I dive into this subject, I just wan't to clarify that you and I both, don't have a shitty life. But that's just how our life feels sometimes. Maybe not every minute or everyday, but from time to time, life feels shitty. And because usually, fragments of our lives feel overwhelmingly permanent, we tend to also feel like our life is shitty when we're simply having a shitty moment. Having said that, let's dive into how to fall in love with your life, when it feels shitty.
I was feeling ready. I was feeling pumped. So I told my boyfriend ''let's go out for a run and do 7k''. So we put our running clothes on, running watch is fully charged, headphones on, Spotify playlist ready, and go!
After 1.4km I stopped. I was so tired, and I didn't even know why. My boyfriend claims it was the wind. He says it was too strong and it was going against us. But I think that it was maybe the pressure of the wind, plus another kind of pressure. Want to know which one? Well, the pressure of life itself.
I've trained myself to be optimistic
I'm a pretty optimistic person. I find the good in everything. And this doesn't come naturally to me. I've trained myself to be this way because I know, that your ability to do whatever it takes to stay motivated and to keep going, is the magic ingredient to achieve any goal. And doing all the hard work, while keeping a negative mindset, is not sustainable in time. So I'm generally a positive and happy person. But boy, this day, I just couldn't do it.
Somedays, it just feels like life's too much. And in those days, I wonder... ''why can't all of this be easier?''.
I normally focus on everything that's working in my life, on everything that I have, on everything that makes me happy. But that doesn't mean that the things that I want and which I don't have, aren't sitting in the corner looking at me with a big fat smile that says ''I know you want me and guess what? you don't have me!''
Staying positive is hard work
It takes mental effort to put your focus away from the things that will bring you down into a muddy hole of disgrace. I do it, because it's the best solution. Because between drowning in my sorrows and connecting to my inner strength to push through, I choose to connect to my inner strength and to push through. In my eyes, it's the wise thing to do. But it doesn't mean that it doesn't take effort. It doesn't mean that it's not hard.
People often talk about not staying in the ground and getting back up on your feet. It's a wise thing to do for sure, I agree. But we don't talk so often about how hard it actually is to get up over and over again, after falling over and over again. I'm not going to sugar coat it. It's tough work. And in the long run, when you've picked yourself up a million times, it's because you've also fallen a million times. So emotionally, it's not an easy process.
Don't pretend you're not tired
I'm not here to tell you to stay on the ground. Definitely not! What I want to do, is make room and space for you to stay in the ground a little longer this time if you need to. You know that you have to get up eventually, and you know that the faster you do it, the faster you'll probably get to where you want to go. But don't pretend that it's not being hard. Don't pretend that you're not tired. Don't pretend that you don't wish that things could be easier.
I'll speak for myself now, but please, feel welcome to join me in this space that I'm creating right know to nurture myself through bold honesty. I wish things were easier many times. And I'm going to dare to say what everybody's thinking:
I wish I had all the money in the planet to travel the world together with my loved ones. I wish I could see my family more often and visit my best friends more often. In fact, I wish I could see my family and my friends every single day. I wish they didn't live so far away. I wish I could travel the world and not even have to think about anything being expensive or not. I wish I could just buy things without looking at the price tag. I wish I hadn't had to leave my country Venezuela and go be an immigrant everywhere I go. I wish I could eat unlimited pizza and cheese without gaining any weight. I wish I could have a six pack without working out. I wish getting motivated to work out felt as good as you feel after you've finished the actual workout. I wish it was always summer in Sweden. I wish everything was way easier.
The list exists
That's a list of a bunch of things that I wish were true, but aren't. Does that mean that I'm thinking 24-7 about them? No, it doesn't. In fact. What I do 24-7, is everything that I can do, to make those wishes come true. And am I getting closer? Yes I am. I'm closer everyday. I still can't eat unlimited pizza and cheese without gaining weight, but I'll keep you posted if I find out how to do it (lol).
Making room for the shit-side - with love
The point is that, the list of things that could make things easier, exists. It exists for me and it exists for everybody. And I also have a list of things that I'm grateful for and happy about. I have tons of things that were at some point only wishes, and now are a real part of my life. And I'm sure that you also have that. But actually today, I don't want to talk about that list, simply because I want to make room, in a loving way, for all the shitty things.
Today, I'm making room for the shitty side of your life to also be loved. I'm making room for you to say with me ''damn, this is hard. I wish things were easier''. I'm making room for you to stay in the ground a little longer. And cry a little longer. And give yourself the love that you deserve for being such an incredible fighter and getting up and pushing through over and over again. You're so strong and so amazing and I'm so proud of you. I'm making space for you to breathe deeply before you get back up from the ground, and jump into your busy life.
You're getting through them like a champ
The only way to fall in love with your shitty life, is to understand that you're just having shitty moments that come and go, and to make room in your heart to also love those. But especially, you need to make room in your heart to love yourself because you're managing to get through them like a freaking champion.
You deserve this
Allow yourself to breathe, to cry, to reflect, to be low on energy, to lay down and to give yourself a big hug, before you get back to business. You deserve it. You're doing great. You're going through some heavy battles, and even if you feel like you're losing many of them, when it comes to life, showing up is wining. And you are showing up. So take some minutes now before you show up for other people, and show up for yourself. Notice how brave you've been through everything, and then, when you feel ready, get back up with me. We can do this. I believe in us.
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