Updated: Mar 11
I used to think that feeling ''negative'' emotions such as sadness, anger, loneliness or frustration, was a bad thing.
I don't think most of us are taught from a young age how to deal with these emotions. When we experience them, we simply feel awkward and try to deny them.
We not only try to hide how we feel from other people, but we also try to convince ourselves that we are fine. But because we are not, and deep inside we know it, from time to time we feel like big failures.
No body feels proud of feeling like a failure, so on top of that, we feel ashamed, as if we were the only ones feeling like shit.
Now here goes the deal breaker: Whether people like to say it or not, we all feel like shit from time to time. Your boss feels like shit and your other colleagues do too.
But why should you get excited when you are feeling down? Because the most powerful changes are born from the most hardcore feelings.
As I write these words I get goosebumps, because I am reminded that everything that I am truly proud of, I have created from places of deep emotional struggle.
A huge amount of creative energy lives in emotional pain. All moments of emotional difficulty are opportunities to spend some time with yourself, and explore what your feelings can make you create.
Next time you are feeling down (it may even be in this moment) I encourage you to try to not run away from your feelings, and instead, be curious about the way you feel.
What I encourage you to do the most, is to be tremendously honest with yourself. Cut yourself some slack. Take the time you need to understand why you are feeling that way, and instead of trying to change it, observe where it comes from.
Use that sadness, that frustration, that anger, that loneliness, and do something with it. Something that only you know. Something that you do for yourself only.
Write something on a piece of paper. Make a drawing. Cook a new dish. Write a song, even if it sounds silly. Daydream and be okay with it. Record a video and put music on it. Stay with the feeling and see where it takes you.
If you have the courage to be down for a little while, and really feel what your body is longing you to feel, you will discover a part of you that you have never seen before.
I will give you my own example.
I am an extremely positive and optimistic person. I consider that hard work always pays off in the long run, and I believe that if you never quit you can never fail. Even though those beliefs are part of who I naturally am, some days just suck and I forget about all that.
Most of the times I am able to use my mindset to not let a crappy moment develop into a fully crappy day. However, sometimes my hormones are too strong! Some days memories are too painful, or reality is too far away from my expectations, and it just hurts quite a lot.
Those days I give in and I welcome the shitty feelings, because I know from experience that they will make me grown in some way.
If you are wondering how this is related to your performance at work, I will tell you that it is actually related TOO much.
The way in which you deal with your emotions affects the way in which you show up everyday at work. If you show up every morning acting like everything is fine, but truly you are falling apart inside, your life is not going to feel pretty.
The experience of your life is what you feel, not what others think of you.
If you want your life at the office to be an experience worth living, you'll need to dig a little bit deeper into your feelings.