Updated: Mar 11
Too often, we let people off the hook because they're ''nice''. We don't want to be too harsh on them. They look like good people and they probably don't know how much harm they're doing us, so we swallow our emotions and let them be.
A dark seed has been planted
But while they don't know what they're doing, you do know what's going on inside of you. You can feel that a dark seed has been planted within you, and while you try to ignore it, the seed is growing and growing. Slowly, this feeling is taking over your body, and you say or do nothing about it, because the people that planted it in you, are ''nice''.
Nice is not enough
Stop letting people off the hook just because they're nice. Nice is not enough. You deserve better than nice. And while they might seem nice in some cases, the fact that they haven't noticed the pain that they're causing in you, makes them a lot less nice than you think they are.
We're all responsible for the energy that we put out in the world. And if someone is saying things that hurt you, or treating you poorly, that's on them. That's their choice to make. It's their responsibility, and it's not nice enough to earn your respect.
Not everyone deserves your niceness
Sometimes you have to allow yourself to be less nice yourself. Sometimes you need to take space from the world to say ''that's not okay''. Sometimes you need to be brave enough to make other people feel uncomfortable, so that you don't have to walk around your life carrying the discomfort that they're putting on you. It doesn't belong to you. It's not yours to carry.
Whoever has an active role in your life, and doesn't appreciate your work and effort, doesn't deserve your niceness. Yes, you have to be kind. But not to the expense of your own self-kindness. Don't be any kinder to other people than you are to yourself. And this is not to say that you shouldn't be kind to other people. This is to say, never stop being kind to yourself so that can you be kind to someone else. There should be space for both. And if someone is demanding you to put yourself last, that person doesn't deserve your kindness.
I'm angry, and that's okay
This is the first time I sit down to write something that comes from an angry part within myself. In the past, I've written from sadness, from fear and from joy. But today, I must admit, I'm writing from anger. And you know why? Because I don't want to let this seed turn into an old rotten seed in the core of me.
I don't believe in anger as an emotional state that we should accept living in, permanently. I will always turn to positivity, to joy, to greatness, to love. But anger is also necessary. And when anger is showing up in your chest, don't just push it in and act like it's not happening. This feeling is trying to tell you something. And all the niceness and kindness in the world will not be enough, if it's only coming from you.
You have a choice
People that you keep in your life, need to learn to be nice to you. They need to learn to be kind to you. They need to learn to respect you if they're going to be in your life. They need to notice you and appreciate you. And if they don't want to do it, know that while they're free to do so, you're also free to react. You're free to care. You're free to not like it and you're free to say and do things about it.
You don't have to swallow all of those bitterness seeds and let them destroy your inner world. You're allowed to spit them out and step on them. That's what it means to not take crap from people. Don't just accept into your body things that don't deserve a place in it. And hey, those people may not like it when you show them that you're not okay with certain things. They may not like it when you're honest. They may think or say you're out of your mind and that you don't make any sense. They may say that you don't know what you're talking about.
You get to leave
And maybe they're right. Maybe they're not. But it doesn't matter. What matters, is that you're just not up for it, and that's okay. That's your right, and no one can take that away from you. You get to choose how you want to be treated. You get to stay when you're happy with it, you get to ask to be treated better, you get to react to not being treated the way you deserve, and you get to leave if you don't like it.
Yes. You get to leave if you don't like it. Again. You get to leave if you don't like it. And it's okay. You'll be okay. I promise.