To feed others or to be fed?

It is true that we need to bring our best into the world. We do need to look inside, and figure out, what is it that's keeping us from being great? Why are we feeling so bitter? Why are we so grumpy sometimes? Why do we struggle to see our ability to create beautiful things?

Looking inwards to find your light

All of those questions, we need to figure out by ourselves, in silence. We can use other people to guide us a little bit. We can use our friends and family for support. But ultimately, the answer to those questions, is going to be different for each one of us. It's going to be special and specific to you. So you need to take the time to go inwards and meditate.

When we allow ourselves to close our eyes and wait, magic happens. The universe starts speaking to us. And to be honest, so does our brain. We go into what seems like a freaking battle between a million thoughts. But as we allow ourselves to go into that, and to embody the perspective of an outside observer - like a manager sitting on the edge of the table and observing what's happening in a meeting - we then start noticing what makes us who we are.

Finally understanding ourselves

We can observe our thoughts and our reactions to those thoughts, which are our feelings. And when we do this for enough time, we can understand which thoughts are triggering us the most, and also how we normally respond to them.

The funny thing, is that if you think about it, that's what makes us who we are: what we think, and how we react to what we think. Because even the things happening in the external word, relate to us through our thoughts. If we didn't have an opinion in the form of a thought, regarding the world around us, what other people do or say, wouldn't affect us on an emotional level.

So by knowing what our common thoughts are, and knowing how we respond to them, we can understand who we are. And in understanding who we are, we can improve ourselves. We can start assessing whether our thoughts are real or not, whether they're helping us become who we want to be or not, and we can also start assessing how we react to those thoughts. We can start understanding why we always end up doing things that move us away from our dreams, and we can change that, to build the life that we want for ourselves.

Feeding the world from our brightest self

By understanding ourselves, we can become the best that we can be. And in doing so, we're feeding the world. We feed the world with our magic, with our abilities, our skills, and the work that we do from a place of love and good intentions.

But that, the feeding part, is only 50% of the equation. And I can tell you, that I thought that that was all of it. Thinking that I could fix everything by just going inward and bringing my best into the world, led me to anger and frustration. And you know why? Because I couldn't control what other people were doing. And the truth is, that that also matters.

Feeding the world is not enough

We can't expect to build the life of our dreams, only by feeding the world. We also need to be fed. We need to be fed by ourselves, which we do when we go inwards and give ourselves love, but we also need to be fed by the people around us.

Getting the world to feed us

So, what if the people around us are not feeding us? What if they only take energy from us, and we don't feel like they give us what we want to receive? Can we change them or can we not? And that, is a great question. In my opinion, the answer to that is both yes and no. And I'll tell you why.

Can we change the people around us?

We can't change the personality and the actions of the people around us. That, we can't do. We can influence them for sure, but even that, will depend on their willingness to be influenced. But what we can do, is change who the people around us are.

I am a firm believer in trying to see the best in the people around you. And I do believe that when we don't like someone, we should first do the necessary inner work to understand why it is that we don't like them. But once that's done, if the reality is that some of the people around you are not feeding you in the way in which you need to be fed to grow into who you want to be, then you need to change them. And by changing them, I mean changing old people by new people.

And see, this applies to a specific person, or to the entire environment around you. Take a moment to think about the type of people that you surround yourself with on a daily basis, and about how their beliefs and actions are influencing the way in which you live. Think about the way in which your environment influences the way you feel from morning to night, and the decisions that you make, because of that.

You have a right to be fed

I used to think that I didn't deserve an environment that served me. An environment that fed me joy, energy, motivation, light. I used to think that if I wanted that, then I had to bring it myself. I love taking responsibility, because that's something that makes me feel in control. I think to myself ''If I sit down and judge, nothing will change. So I'd rather get up my ass and do something about this''.

So I kept trying to bring love, intentionality, joy, positivity and all this kind of stuff to wherever I was. And I noticed that in some places, this was well received, and it created a snowball effect in which the other person would also start feeding me with these incredible things that energise me and make me feel alive. But in other places, feeding my environment with light, would only have a very limited lifetime. It would last for as long as I was actively working on bringing the joy. But once I stopped, there was nothing left other than complains, sorrows and crappy vibes in the air.

It wasn't working

You know, I didn't get it. I kept asking myself - shit, why is this not working? I'm doing my meditation, I'm bringing my lights, why is this environment not changing? why does this air still feel heavy?

It took me some time to realise, that I had a right to change environments. We all do.

Finding fertile ground

You and I, we have a right to move around. We have a right to move around until we have a fertile ground where our seeds will actually grow into strong and beautiful trees. I used to think that my seeds were rotten or something. I thought that they weren't strong enough. And now, I finally understand that I was trying to grow an avocado in the middle of Antartica.

And this is where the being fed part comes into play. Because we can't just feed the world and hope for the best. We also need to move around, until we find places and people that are willing to feed us, as much as we're willing to feed them.

What are you doing?

So today, ask yourself. Are you feeding and being fed? Or are you just waiting to be fed, but not feeding the world? Or are you the way I was? Are you feeding the world way too much, and asking for nothing in return?

Maybe if you take some time to think about this, you'll discover that all this time, you were looking in the wrong place. Maybe you'll find out, that you already know what you need to do.