Updated: Jan 18
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The questions... ''why am I here?, what's life for?, what's the purpose or living?, what's the goal of my life?'' are questions that have been very present in my mind over the past 4 years, and carry more and more intensity every year that passes.
For many years, I lived in autopilot. I did what I was told to, and didn't question the true meaning or motivation behind the things that I did. Graduating high-school, going to university, having a boyfriend, moving abroad, getting a job, making money.
The awakening of something new
A part of me felt that I was doing everything right, while a different side of me started to awaken on Spring of 2017. That side of me finally started to question. But with all the questions, also came confusion, and to be honest, frustration and disappointment for not having asked myself these important questions earlier in the game of life.
For many years my small mind thought that the purpose of life was indeed to study to get a job to build a family, and to be able to financially support that family. Besides that, was also of course being able to buy a bunch of nice things for myself. Having the freedom to buy whichever jacket and shoes I wanted, whenever I felt like it. Coming from a country where I often felt financially short in terms of buying unnecessary but somehow nice-to-have things, being able to just buy clothes and makeup felt rewarding and meaningful at first.
That didn't last much
That didn't last much though. A few months after I had a stable income coming from my engineering company, I realised that being dressed on trend wasn't bringing much excitement anymore. So I reduced my frequency of buying stuff, and developed a greater passion for travelling. I told myself that I would make as many short trips as possible during a year, and I did. Some of them I did alone, others I did with friends, and others I did with my sweet and loving boyfriend.
But at some point, also the joy of travelling wasn't enough to sustain my excitement over being alive. And that's because, although I experienced great joy during every trip that I made, I felt trapped every time I came back to my everyday life. Trapped forcing myself to believe that I had to stay in an environment that my soul was telling me was not for me.
And so then, it all clicked. I could finally see it. I realised, that the constant in my life that always kept me excited, joyful and looking forward to the next step in life, was exploration.
The constant in all of it
I'm 31 years old today, and during the past decade, I've lived in five different countries, and moved to a new home, every 6 to 12 months. Within those 10 years, I've started and closed chapters countless times. I've lived with my family, alone, with different roommates and with my boyfriend. I've experienced the coldest winters in Scandinavia and the warmest summers in Thailand. I've partially switched career paths multiple times, and I've gone through hell and heaven all together. I've developed more resilience than I ever thought I would need, I've said goodbye way more that I would have liked to, but in that journey, I finally got to know and explore my inner world.
So now you're probably wondering... ''Ok, Mary. So where are you going with this? What is the purpose of life then?'' And that's exactly where I'm going right now.
Our purpose according to my soul
In my humble opinion, we all come to this world with the same life purpose. It's not that I have an ultimate life mission and you have another one. I strongly and deeply believe, based on the wisdom that has been passed on to me from my soul, that you and I have the same purpose in life. And that is, to explore what it's like to live life as the human that we are.
Having said that, it's true that as human individuals you and I are different. But in terms of our soul's mission on earth, we share a single one, and that is, to joyfully explore. To joyfully explore the light and the darkness, the lightness and the heaviness, the known and the unknown, the beauty and the ugliness. And you will see, that in doing so, in accepting the contrasts of the human experience, from a soul perspective, you'll look at your life and start seeing how wonderful it is.
You'll start finding light in the darkness, lightness in what feels heavy, certainty in the unknown, and beauty in what seems ugly. It's a beautiful contradiction that dies, the moment that you're able to awaken you soul's senses and start seeing the world through them, as opposed to through your human senses.
One thing that I've noticed lately, is how many people loose their freedom in the idea that they're their jobs. I see people whose soul is ready to explore a different stage in their lives, but their ego won't even let them see it, because their ego is too afraid of dying when loosing the identity of their jobs that they're so addicted to.
And then I see so many people being exactly where they need to be in their journey, on one end resisting what they're going through, and on the other end not daring to do anything to move forward in their journey.
What the right choice is and isn't about
The reality is that the right choice isn't about leaving or staying. It isn't about staying quiet or speaking your mind out. It isn't about going left or right, or up or down. It isn't about this career or the other one, this person or the other one, or this country or the other one. It's not about that.
And the cause of our overall stress, anxiety and suffering, I'd say is that we believe that that's what the right choice is about. So you look at your life when you're 25 or 35 or 45 or whatever, and you go down a painful loop of... ''Sh*t. I think I made all the wrong choices. Look where I'm at. It's too late now. It's over.'' We believe that there's no room for change anymore, and we totally forget that exploration literally equals constant change and adventure.
The right choice is about remembering that you're a spiritual being walking a human journey, as opposed to falling pray to every little human challenge and forgetting what you really are.
The real question
You can have any job and live anywhere right now. The question is... are you aware that you have a soul that's trying to guide you? Are you aware that your soul came to this world to live an adventure? Are you aware that if you live in disconnection to your soul and the quantum world within you, your external world will always be a reflection of that disconnection?
And in more earthly terms... Are you aware that you're not your current job? Are you aware that you're not your current salary, your current friends, your current home, your current country, or even your current joyful experiences? Are you aware that you're in no need to emotionally hold on to any of the things that you're going through, and that you can set yourself free in this moment by simply remembering what your true purpose is? Meaning, the purpose of your soul.
Are you aware that your purpose is not getting a specific job, or getting married at a certain age or buying that big house? Are you aware that as beautiful and magical those experiences may be, your purpose is actually bigger than that? Being your purpose, to go through those experiences when the time is right, with no attachment, to feel what they feel like, with the knowing that you're still bigger than each individual experience.
Did you know that you're bigger?
You're bigger than that meeting you just had with your boss that left you feeling weird. You're bigger than the promotion that you just did or didn't get. You're bigger than the car that you have or don't have. Do you see what I'm saying? Whatever the experience is or isn't, that's irrelevant for who you truly are. Because what you are, is a magical explorer.
In a sense, you're the person moving the pieces in a Monopoly game. You go through all these things and buy all these other things. You even go to jail in that game sometimes! But you know that you're not just the pieces or the character in the game, right? You know that you're the force and energy moving the dots.
In life, we go through something not totally the same, but very similar. The difference between Monopoly and real life, is that in real life, we get to feel the feelings. We get to savour the experiences. We get to feel what it's like to fall in love or loose a job. And that, the ability to feel it all, together with the notion that your purpose is simply to explore all of it, is where the magic lies.
Then the pressure is gone
If you ask me, once you realise that you came to this world to explore, to play and to have fun, while embracing the full spectrum of emotions that we're blessed to have, a whole lot of pressure falls off your shoulders.
It doesn't matter if you're 40 and you're at a family dinner and everyone expects you to be married with 3 kids, and if people almost even feel sorry for you because that's not your reality. Because when you're living in full remembrance of what your soul's journey really is, and you come to the presence of someone who's yet unable to vibrate in your frequency of wisdom, for you it doesn't matter anymore. You get it. They just don't see it, and you can accept that for them and move on.
If you take anything from this piece of wisdom that my soul is sharing with yours today, let that be, that once you awake to the guidance of your soul, there are no mistakes or wrong choices anymore. All there is, is beauty, magic and adventure. So if there's anything to prioritise from now on, I'd say, it's that connection.
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