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Why am I always falling behind? | Breaking this heart-breaking illusion

Updated: Dec 29, 2021

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I have this recurrent feeling that my entire life has been about falling behind with respect to others. As the youngest of 3 sisters, it's of course no surprise that I would naturally be behind, and until a certain point, I guess I was okay with it.

I was the little one, so it was okay that I didn't have as much money, as much freedom, as many friends, the dream boyfriend, the dream house, the dream car, the dream holidays. That was going to eventually come, when the time was right. But it turns out, that after some years, I reached a point where it felt like we should all be at the same point already.

Ever since I can remember, people kept using my sisters as a reference, and although they probably didn't really think their