Updated: Apr 25
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Don't let those who have been mean, disrespectful and harsh on you, make you lose hope on humanity. Don't let them turn off the excitement, joy and spark that you came into this world with.
I know that some human interactions can feel like the worst thing in the planet. We bump into people that seem to just not want to be helpful. And you meet this people everywhere.
When you depend on them...
But obviously - the worst cases are those in which you somehow depend on them. It could be someone offering the service that you're paying for, it could be your boss, it could be the friend of a friend, or it could be a family member.
If we let them, these people will burn us inside. They will distort our perception of reality to a point where we not only feel hurt, but we also feel hopeless.
She just said no!
Take it from me. Three weeks ago I was denied to pick-up my package at the post station because the woman in the counter claimed my passport wasn't a valid ID. Here I am, handing this woman the most valid ID that I have - and because it looked different to hers, she did not accept it. She said ''I've never seen this before''.
So I had to call the sender and ask them to change the recipient's name, so that my boyfriend's sister could pick up the package, since her ID was more ''valid'' than mine.
To put you in context, this happened in Sweden, and I showed my passport because I don't have a Swedish ID, since I'm only visiting. Since I'm Venezuelan, my passport has something called a ''validity extension'', which extends the passport validity for 2 years.
Look - I didn't make these rules. That's how Venezuelan government works right now. They stopped giving out new passports to everyone, and some people are only granted an extension of 2 years on their ''invalid'' passport. True, it's not the most common thing in the world, but my passport was still valid!
My birthday surprise was ruined #thanks
Anyways.... I was finally able to give my boyfriend his present (that's what came in the package) about a week after his birthday. So basically this lady kind of ruined my plan to surprise him with that gift on his birthday.
Paying for something you didn't do
It seems like a simple story, but this event got me thinking about so many other things. Now, every time I think about migration things such as paperwork, questions and interviews, I keep wondering...
Will the person handling my case be a good soul? Will that person try to put themselves in my shoes and understand my situation? Will I be treated with respect? What if I'm not? What if the person in charge of making those very important decisions about my life, isn't even nice? What if they don't care about me? What if they had a bad day or are having a bad life, and they take it out on me? What if her dog pooped on her expensive white carpet this morning, and because of that she rejects my visa application? How's that even my fault?!
Let's not do the same
The truth is, that I don't know the answer to those questions. But what I can tell you, is that it's not fair for nice people with good intentions to be put in a box because of a bad experience that I had with someone else.
It's not fair that we extrapolate to the rest fo the world, behavioural assumptions based on a single situation with someone. Because the truth is that, when we're being mistreated by someone else without having done anything to deserve it, it's because that person is taking out on us something that hurt them in the past.
Maybe the lady in the counter was mistreated or fooled by other clients, so she's become defensive. And now - everyone else has to pay for the consequences of that.
Do you want to be like her?
But... do we want to also be like that? Do we also want to be like the lady in the post office, because of something that happened to us once with someone else?
Is it fair that I start judging customer service and migration authorities in general, because of that experience? What if there's actually good people working in similar positions? If I approach them with the bad attitude, I will contribute to doing to them what I don't want anyone to go through.
Let's not blame the good souls
So don't. Please don't. Let's not blame good souls with good intentions, for those times in which others have treated us poorly. Let's not lose hope in humanity. Let's be the ones that inspire those around us to be better.
I'm actively working on not letting the seed of fear and resentment flourish in me because of that post office lady. There's a difference between allowing yourself to feel unpleasant emotions and giving yourself the time to heal, and letting those emotions negatively affect how you react to the rest of the world.
Give us a chance!
Today - I'm asking you to give the rest of us a chance. Give to us, to those who haven't disappointed you, the chance to enter your life. The chance to be treated with the love and respect, that you were willing to give away with no judgement, in the first place. Give good souls a chance.