Updated: Nov 18
We're constantly criticising not only other people's decisions, but also our very own. ''I should've done this, I shouldn't have done that''. But today, we're going to talk about a specific kind of decision: the worst decision ever. Maybe, you've been making this decision over and over throughout your life, and you haven't even noticed. And see, I speak from experience. Because I was doing this without noticing myself, up until maybe 1 week ago.
The worst decision that you can make, is making no decision at all. The worst choice that you can make, is the one of letting other people decide for yourself. The most awful thing that you can do to your beautiful self, is to reach the lethal combination of laziness and fear, that keeps you from making your own decisions, and triggers you to blame the world for your current circumstances.
The law of little effort
Going against the flow is hard, and as human beings, it's our natural tendency to lean toward what's easy. This is the law of the smallest amount of effort. This is something that we do automatically, and in and of itself, it's not a bad thing. We act this way because our nature is always leaning toward choosing the most efficient process. So when life feels complicated, and we're overwhelmed and stressed, the last thing that we want to do is to overcomplicate things. So we naturally choose what's easiest.
Why should we choose something that everyone around us will call us crazy for? Why should we choose something that will generate millions of questions and which will require us to give explanations that we don't want to give? Why should we overcomplicate things? Well, this is the question that we're asking ourselves continuously, and which we answer even unconsciously. Even before we've finished posing that question, we've already answered it with a very clear: ''It's not worth it. Let's leave things as they are''.
You're making expensive choices
The problem is, that doing this may work for a little while. Maybe it works for a few years. But slowly, those easy decisions add up one on top of the other, to become the most expensive bag of decisions that could ever exist. These decisions will eventually cost you your life. They will cost you who you are; not who you pretend to be. Oh no. That, you'll be able to keep for yourself. But who you truly are, what you truly like, the things that you truly want to say, and the way in which you truly want to live, you will have given away little by little. And if you don't stop soon enough, to knit back together the hole through which your true self has been slipping, one day, it will be too late.
It's not too late
But hey, I've got some great news for you. The fact that you're reading this right now, and that my words are resonating with you, is a miracle. Because I'm here to tell you, that today, it's not too late.
Today, we can still recover who we are. You still haven't given away all of who you are. And you know how I know this? Because there's a part of you that understands what I'm saying. There's a part of you that's saying ''She's right. What have I done? I'm not me anymore''. And that recognition and awareness, is pure gold.
It's not too late to start making your own decisions. It's not too late to start choosing the options that speak to your soul, even though they awake the ''what are people going to think?'' fearful thoughts in you. And see, not all choices have to be tough ones. What's tough, is not the choice itself. What's tough, is steering your life into the direction that feels right for your soul, when you've been making the wrong decisions for a long time. Or to be more precise, when you've been avoiding making this decisions. But once you've started steering in the right direction, every new choice will become much easier. And all of a sudden, the easy decisions will also be the right decisions.
What does your soul want?
So it really isn't about a decision being tough, for it to be the right one. It's about being responsible and brave enough to put on our plate what's important to us, and daring to make our decisions based on that, instead of on what's important to other people. This is what mindful decision making looks like. It speaks to your willingness to get to know yourself, and to prioritise what your soul is aiming for, over what you think other people will think is the right choice.
Take the time
Take the time to find out what's important to you, and allow yourself to love and respect what that is. Let go of those thoughts that are telling you that what you think is silly, and that everyone around you knows better than you. Other people can't know, better than you, how you're supposed to live your life. You can listen to their advice and welcome their suggestions. But ultimately, you have a say and you have the last word. So make sure that you're actively making your decisions, and taking the time to assess whether or not they're right for you, for your heart and for your soul.
This is what you wake up to
And you know why this is important? Because you're the one that needs to live with these decisions. You wake up every single day, to the consequences of the decisions that you make. Not anyone else. You do. So if you keep letting other people decide for you, know that it's still going to be you who wakes up to the consequences of those decisions. Not anyone else.
So what's it going to be? Will you start to make your own decisions, today? I think you should.