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Whatever people do to you, has nothing to do with you.

Updated: Jan 3, 2022

Back in the day, I used to take most things personally. To me this made perfect sense. If someone says something bad about you, it must be true. Why wouldn’t it? They see you, and that bad thing is what they see. It of course makes a ton of sense to believe what everyone says about you.

I have done a huge amount of reading in the past years, only to find out that I was completely mistaken. There is tons of research about the brain that show that what we perceive is most of the time very far away from reality. If you think about it, this makes quite a lot of sense since it allows us to explain why people from different cultures, backgrounds, genders, ages, you name it, have such different strong opinions about different topics. I won’t go into detail about the source of different opinions, though.

The frustration of not understanding

See, we use too much of our energy trying to make sense of other people’s actions. It is frustrating for us human beings to not be able to understand. It is frustrating to not understand why your boss treated you poorly, why the person who claimed to love you the most gave you the most excruciating pain, or why you were not invited to that party.